Learning to let go of my learned beliefs and trust on his curiousity


Being a schooled person myself I realize I’m stuck with certain beliefs. I seem to thrive by using a schedule. It makes me feel more relaxed because I have a starting point and if I go a level deeper. It gives me a feeling of control. The other thing is that I really use schedules as a starting point. I tend to do my own thing while feeling in control.

For example: when we go on vacation I am the one who does all the research. What is there to do, what do we like to see, etc etc. Dear husband even relies on it. You might even say he lets go of control of the situation and has faith in the schedule I will make. And here it is. If we are on a holiday we decide from day to day basis what we will be doing, looking at that wonderful schedule as a starting point. It is there, but it is not written in stone. I like to be prepared and at the same time flexible. We have a plan but it is ready to be altered.

Back to homeschooling. Of course I had a plan. I remembered all the things I did at Maximan his age, we could do that too. I was able to read when I was four. However, Maximan is of course, his own being. Doing things his own way at his own pace. Which is exactly the reason for choosing to homeschool. However, I find myself feeling I’m not doing enough. I’m eager to help him, to teach him. All he want is play. And that is a good thing. It makes me realize I have to let go. I have to have faith, like dear husband has faith in me when we go on vacation that everything will be allright. And I have to admit, it is hard. I like to have control and now… I have to let go. To trust that he is eager to learn.

Right now the most important thing is play and playful learning and of course let our days be shaped by his curiosity. It is an adventure and not only is he learning but I am as well.

So I’m telling myself to breathe, have faith and let go…

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